June 16, 2014

My Decision

Sometimes when I have nothing to think about for a short second, 
I stop and freak out a little. 

Whaaaaaaaaat. I'm actually serving a mission?! 
I already have my call?! 
How did this even happen. 

I'm flabbergasted every time I think about it
because it all happened so suddenly.

I never planned on serving a mission.

In fact, I don't think it ever once crossed my mind 
in the whole 19 years I've been alive.
Ever since the mission age change I was constantly being asked:

"Are you going to serve a mission?"

The plain answer was "No". To be honest, I hadn't even thought about it! 
Thinking about serving a mission was uncharted territory 
and it had never crossed my mind. 

One day it sort of popped into my mind but I was careful to keep these thoughts to myself for fear that if I let anyone know I would feel obligated to go. Quite honestly, it scared me to death thinking about serving a mission, and I needed to think about the pro's and con's in my head before I let anyone else think about it for me. For a few months I kept this idea to myself but I would think about it every day. It seemed like every lesson, devotional, talk, or conversation I had somehow related to missionary work and I couldn't ignore the fact that I needed to think more seriously about serving a mission.

It was near the end of January when I told my parents. 
But no one else knew.

I decided to keep it a secret because I wasn't 100% sure and I didn't want anyone to influence my decision. I wanted to be serving a mission for the right reason, and that reason was between me and my Heavenly Father. I escaped  home for the weekend in mid-February so I could secretly start my papers with my home bishop. Only my parents and roommate knew.

Everything went so fast from that point. I submitted my papers on March 3, 2014, and my call came the next week on March 12th. Since I wasn't able to go home to open it 'til the 14th, the next day was filled with surprise and anticipation as I called all 7 of my siblings and many of my friends.

I will never forget the moment of opening that big white envelope. My whole body was shaking with so many different emotions, and I was trying hard not to read ahead.

Dear Sister Bush,
You are hereby called to serve 
as a missionary of 
The Church of Jesus Christ 
of Latter-day Saints.

I took a big breath to let that sink in... then continued reading...

You are assigned to labor 
in the Belgium Netherlands Mission....

At that point, like many other future missionaries, I felt a sense of peace and I knew this is the place that my Heavenly Father wants me to be.

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